The Wonderful World of Toilet Experiences in China

I find washroom experiences in China very interesting. Public washrooms in the suburbs are extra special but I'm beginning to find city public restrooms are catching up quickly in their own way. Ask anyone living in China and you will get a“WC experience”; sometimes funny, other times interesting, most of the time just a great story.

Yesterday, a person I just met for the first time shared a story about his washroom experience somewhere in WuDaoKou. He says he doesn't know if it's the same in the women's washroom (so far never had this experience and I can't imagine there ever being any in the women's WC), but one time while he was in the restroom, and this was in one of those with foreigners going, he was standing (of course), doing his “business” when suddenly he felt a pair of hands on his back. He turns around a bit to take a look and see the male-Chinese restroom attendant trying to give him a massage! This guy telling the story wasn't homophobic, and he says it wasn't done in any misleading way, but still, as he put it, doing your business in the urinal is one of the most personal things a person can do and to have someone there suddenly touching you from behind is just plain strange. But he was nice about it, he made a “no, thanks for the service” gesture and the attendant moved on to the next victim. My other friend and I were transfixed to his story, wow, we never knew this type of thing happens in male washrooms, and why? Who in the world would want that kind of service? Well, we concluded that some people do probably like getting this sort of treatment; otherwise it would be hard to come up with this kind of gimmick. It would then be a washroom brawl just waiting to happen.

I also shared one of my many interesting washroom experiences. I don’t have any bad experiences that I can remember right now, just a lot of smelly and eye-opening experiences. One of my most unforgettable one was during a trip outside of Beijing, on a mountain-temple trip. We stayed in like a one-floor, square type facility, with a public washroom to share. But the thing was, I think the carpenters who built the place must’ve forgotten to install a washroom, coz the room I went into was an actual room with no floor! The whole room was the urinal!Maybe half-way making it, they counted and suddenly realized they’ve built 10 rooms and haven’t gotten to a working washroom, so someone yelled, “Halt! Stop, don’t continue, forget about the flooring, we’ll say this is the washroom.” Have you seen the Japanese movie, “The Ring”? That’s the first thing that came to mind when I stepped in. Oh yah, they had wooden planks for you to walk on so you don’t fall in the hole---the well---room, oh whatever! A single orange bulb lighted the whole gray concrete walled room. I made my way to the middle and did my business, all the while thinking and imagining what could be down there. It was pitch black, I couldn’t see anything. Not even of what a previous visitor might have left there before I did. Suddenly just when I decided to focus my sight on the door in front of me, I felt a hand grab my ankles. I looked down and saw eyes so white I screamed! Just kidding. Nothing happened, I left the smelly dump in one piece, and for the rest of the stay tried to hold my bladder in as much as I could so that I didn’t have to go back in there.

During the same trip, same mountain, but different area, just after a meal, I decided to go look for a washroom. Now this one was quite pleasant. How can I describe it properly but that it was simply an outdoor urinal with concrete and bricks to wall you in just enough so nobody can see the lower part of your body and what you’re really doing inside. But still open enough to let you feel the cool breeze of the wind and overlook people about a few hundred meters away walking about minding their business, not realizing they are being watched by people like me. Even if they saw you that far away, they would only see a head poking out. I remember there was a stream running right between where those people were walking about and the outdoor-toilet. It gave the whole thing sort of a zen feel to it. The idea that you're the one doing your "business" but is also the one doing the peeking at other people is kind of amusing.